Fastest way to piss off a Pro Athlete: ask them to Prom on social media

Call me a cynic, but this trend of making a promposal video and posting it to social media to ask professional athlete to go prom with you has to be the most annoying thing ever for the athlete. De’Aaron Fox of the Sacramento Kings was the latest to fall victim to this, and what is he supposed to do? Say no and look like an asshole to the millions of people on social media?

If I were De’Aaron Fox or any other athlete that has this horrific act happen to them, I would just go off the grid and quit social media all together. So that you understand the severity of this, I’m so addicted to Twitter, that doing this would be harder than taking an Olde English out of the hands of a severe alcoholic. But like I mentioned, you can’t say no because that’s a fast way to become public enemy number one and the Internet is still undefeated. From the athlete’s perspective, how would you rather spend your Saturday night? Would you rather be at a dance where no alcohol is served and with a minor, where if the situation were any different, you’d look like a pedophile? Or, would you rather be at the club sitting VIP with legal babes asking if they can sit VIP with you? I know it’s a tough decision…

Trust me I lived through High School and I know how tough getting a prom date can be. But let’s be honest, male or female, if you have to stoop this low to get a date, you’re probably just need to accept that you’re either going by yourself or not going at all. As the proposer, you have to know that even if the athlete goes with you, it’s not consensual, so what’s the allure? Half of the allure of having a hot prom date is to show your friends that an attractive person is interested in you. If everyone knows you’re basically forcing this person to go with you, that allure is negated. Nobody likes to get cuckolded, and that’s basically what you’re doing to this poor professional athlete.

I’ve always wondered what the athletes who have followed through on this do at the prom. Like do they just show up and take pictures with their “date” and hop back on their private jet? Or, do they actually show up to the dance and awkwardly stand in the back drinking spiked punch that the rebellious kid brought in? I know they sure as shit ain’t out on the dance floor dancing with their minor date because that could be a quick way to end up in prison. Look in high school I went to another school’s prom (humble brag), where the only other person I knew was my date and at times it was pretty freaking awkward. I can only imagine what it would be like to be in that same situation except famous and knowing that with one wrong hand placement, Megan’s Law will be your only form of social media moving forward.

If you’re reading this blog and were considering doing one of these videos, STOP!!! Here’s what you can do. Make a video asking for help from the best player of the hottest person in your school’s favorite sports team, post that to social media and tag that player. Then that athlete will probably make a video forcing that hot person to go to prom with you. From the athlete’s perspective, if you’re forcing them to go to prom with your, their real reaction (as I have outlined) is going to be: “Hell no.” But from the athlete’s perspective, if you’re asking them to force someone else to go to prom with you, their reaction will be: “Sure, why the hell not?” That way you get the acknowledgement from an athlete, get a hot prom date (they can’t say no) and your ugly ass has about a million times better of a chance to hooking up with the hot kid at school. Instantly you’ll become a high school legend, which is the true meaning of life.

Here I am, just solving the world’s problems one promposal at a time! I’ll be waiting for my Nobel Peace prize.

-MR H

Follow me on Twitter @MR_HFacts

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